Crying is for plain women
“Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.”
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), Irish poet and playwright
Humor
Fish and visitors
“Fish and visitors smell in three days.”
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), one of the Founding Fathers of the United States
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage
“Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), one of the Founding Fathers of the United States
When you’re testing to see how deep water is
“When you’re testing to see how deep water is, never use two feet.”
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790), one of the Founding Fathers of the United States
A jury
“A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.”
Robert Frost (1874-1963), American poet
Difficult to produce a television documentary
“It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing, when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.”
Rod Serling, American screenwriter and television producer
Four or eight slices of pizza
“When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, ‘Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.”
Yogi Berra, American professional baseball catcher
The two biggest sellers in bookstores
“The two biggest sellers in bookstores are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it.”
Andy Rooney, American radio and television writer
Having one child vs two children
“Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.”
David Frost, English television host and journalist